The Bully and the Onion
The Bully and the Onion! 1
Why do people bully and harass each other in the workplace? This question is not a simple one. The answer is somewhat complex and profound. To explore the answer’s complexity and depth, we will resort to The Human Element, a systematic and scientific approach for improving how people work together, leading to the more outstanding accomplishment of goals and better individual, team, and organizational performance. The Human Element aims to increase openness and honesty in organizations and reduce unproductive defensive behavior to achieve better business results. The Human Element approach deals with root causes rather than superficial behaviors.
The Human Element suggests dealing with behaviors using the “Onion Approach.” The onion is composed of layers. The more you peel, the deeper you go. The same applies to human beings. Trying to deal with bullying as a behavior only will lead to superficial results. However, handling it in multi-layers will help you improve employees’ behaviors, interactions, organizational culture and raise individual awareness.
2
Tom, a clever accountant, working for his organization for the past five years, has recently submitted his resignation. When HR discussed his reasons, they realized that Tom suffered from Paul, his direct manager. Tom finally reported that Paul put him down. He obliged him to stay late at night on several unnecessary occasions. Paul would sometimes shove papers in his face.
Moreover, he ridiculed him in front of other team members. Tom tried to tolerate this behavior that he did not understand. Little did he know about Paul, who rarely slept at night. Paul spent most of his nights awake thinking if he was good and skilled enough for his job? If he would be promoted? Paul spent his entire life trying to prove to himself and his family that he was competent enough. He acknowledged his competence only when he received an appreciation or a compliment for a job well done from management. Paul was worried about the future and whether his experience and skills would help him move up the organizational ladder. He was full of self-doubt.
Tom, on the other hand, carried himself confidently. He spoke without hesitation during meetings. He was very sure of himself. Paul was worried the difference between him and Tom would show. That management would sense how much he doubted himself. Paul resented Tom for his confidence. He picked on him to bridge the gap inside him. To prove to himself that he was as good. All his acts were out of his insecurities, fear, and self-doubt. In the end, Tom left the organization while Paul is still struggling. If we apply this story and back at the onion analogy for further understanding
At the heart of bullying behavior lies Self-Concept or Self-Esteem. Self-Esteem is how your thoughts about yourself, how you see yourself. The healthier your thoughts about yourself, the more positive your self-image is. When you feel good about yourself, you respect yourself more. You give yourself what you deserve. You value yourself. The opposite happens when you have low self-esteem. You tend to ignore your feelings, thoughts, opinions and not give yourself the value you deserve.
1 The Human Element, Part One, Cornerstone Participant Guide, BCon (Business Consultants,Inc)
2The Human Element, Part One, Cornerstone Participant Guide, BCon (Business Consultants,Inc)
For more about this topic, download our latest book " The Curious Case of Bullying in the Workplace " for FREE:
